Hi Friends,

Even as I launch this today ( my 80th Birthday ), I realize that there is yet so much to say and do.

There is just no time to look back, no time to wonder,"Will anyone read these pages?"

With regards,
Hemen Parekh
27 June 2013

Saturday, 23 December 1978


There are many images
Around me,
And all are distorted ;
Whether my eye sight
Is failing or
Acquiring a different focus,
I do not know.

I am trying to give up
What others think are
The better things of life ;

I am trying to prove
( to myself ? ),
That I am different
Than the others.

The inner peace
Does not seem to come,
I seem
As empty as before –
Is fulfillment
An empty dream ?

Even two birds fill the sky,
But I am alone,

And doomed to die.


Tuesday, 12 September 1978

Tik 20


Tik 20 , Tik 20,
Tick , tick
Twenty , twenty
Twenty is plenty
And enough is enough.

But I have to be a coward
To wish otherwise,
Why else , should there be
In my stomach , when I take to air ?

Who was himself a butterfly
Once upon a time !

Bring that bottle to me ,
In any case
Impotents cannot die –

Am I not a later day Socrates ?
( I wonder if Socrates was married ! )

Am I not entitled
To my cup of ecstasy
Floating on these clouds ?

Hamlock , Tik 20,
What difference does it make ?
I do not think
The sky will cry
Or the sea get indigestion
Should this plane go down !

As for you,
You will cry your heart out
Till it is empty
( your tears might even fill,
A bottle of Tik 20 ! )

Get rid,
Of yourself
Of this infection
You have called love,
I had no right
To enter your life –
But having entered
Can I tip toe
Into the waiting arms
Of the Amavasya night
Without , so much as saying ,
Sayonara , Al Vida,

Goodbye !


Monday, 6 March 1978

Premonition ?

I wasn't born yesterday
I am not likely to die
this afternoon
( God willing ! ) ;

But the pity of everything
this entire
scheme of life,
is also the same  !

That things should happen,
God willing ;

And that the lumps
of desires
in my breast
should turn ,
-- not into the milk of
human happiness
into some grotesqe
cancerous growth !

Neither ones that I
could get rid thru
mastectomy - radical or otherwise !

These must continue to
and grow
and bigger ever grow ,
till the serpentine
the evil twine
not only my body
but my soul as well ,
decaying beyond all repair  ;

So , what do I do  ?

Despair  ?

Prey to the Lord Almighty,  
to kindly cut,
so that,
in the least should it hurt ;

And when I succumb,
at least,
let her know  
for whom, 
unfortunately , I was born
a Cancerian and not
a Capricorn 


06 Mar 1978