I have no form

https://youtu.be/2yZv4GWtW7c

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Love !

Have I felt it ?

Once I was mad and still wise ,
now I am wise and still foolish !

For I act like a child
when
I should like a man ;
and vice-versa ;

If the dream comes early in the morning,
it should come true ;

but then , why does it not ?

I am fighting with myself,
again and again ;

I win and more often
I lose !

For I know not ,
who am I , and
who is myself  !

And that keeps the struggle going ;

Time passes ,
tick-tock , tick-tock ,
and sometimes even without that ,
silently , dreadfully , overwhelmingly  ;

Drowning me  - not the World  ;

The cheerful , gay world ;
It keeps going ,
along with the eternal Time ;

Unlike a fluttering dream
that's me ;

A music flows ,
On mountains and plains and rivers ,
in the woods ,
and in the ceaseless breaking of
the waves along the endless shore :

It fills the earth below ,
and the sky above ,
with the rhythm of the twinkling
stars ,
embracing the eternity :

I look at the yonder hills ,
to watch the setting Sun ,
the God of fire ,
sinking into the valley of
darkness ,

Vainly trying to light the dusk
with a glow that lasts not long.

My hopes sink too !

For , I am afraid of night,
just as I dread death ;

It leaves me alone ,
- all alone ,
into a realm unknown ,
-  of nothingness ,

where Time and Space
are but one ;
and I have no form ,
no speech , no sight , no sense ;

There is only,
an endless train of thoughts ,
mine , somebody's , everybody's ,
floating around ;

Coming out of nothingness ,
disappearing into nothingness ;

And my formless self,
rides one ,
and then another ,
but just for a moment ;

Which brings back to me ,
my form and speech and daylight  ;

Again everything is gone ,
but for the deep darkness
and the dreadful silence  !

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29 Mar 1956

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